Serendipity
by Jessa4865
Summary: Sam and Jack and a shopping list and something else too... SamJack. COMPLETE!


Serendipity (or The Brainwashing Aptitude of Otherwise Harmless Marketing Tactics)  
Jezyk a.k.a. jessa4865  
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I'm just taking them out for some fun. I'll put them back when I'm done. Promise.  
Spoilers: Set Season 8 – Jack's there and in charge (AMEN!); also season 2 &4, specifically  
Pairing: Sam/Jack (more UST than anything else, really)  
Warning: Fluff alert. Pointless silly fluff that's been rolling around in my head for some time now and is finally being set free

AN: There are some tiny OOC bits here. If that's going to bother you so much that you're going to say something nasty, please just don't bother reading it. I've had a rough nine months since I posted last and I'd appreciate kindness or silence. Thanks!

Serendipity

Of all the chores that ever appeared on her to-do list, grocery shopping was the one Samantha Carter despised the most. She always had a carefully selected list, items she truly needed, arranged in the order of the aisles in the market. She prided herself on being a savvy shopper in most areas. She researched expensive products before she chose one, making sure there would be no money wasted on features she didn't want. Despite her best efforts, however, grocery stores somehow always had the power to seduce her right out of her rational mind, to convince her that she absolutely needed items not on her list simply because they were on sale. Logically she knew she had no use for buy-one-get-one-free 100-count Ziploc sandwich bags, especially since she never packed a lunch, but she couldn't swear she would never need them and, in that case, she could hardly turn down a bargain. Six years later, the twin blue boxes had yet to be opened and sat on her kitchen counter mocking her. She was still bitter about the purchase.

Mistakes were not something she suffered well.

So when General O'Neill decided to have a barbeque, she found it particularly irksome that she was nominated to do the grocery shopping for the event. Nonetheless, Sam was a team player and, since she'd been trusted to spend everyone's financial contributions to the affair, she was determined to be more careful than normal. Certainly Jack had no use for plastic picnic-ready ketchup and mustard jars for only a dollar each even though Sam had not been able to apply the same logic to herself the previous summer. Those obnoxiously colored jars flanked the Ziploc bags as a reminder that she could never hide them until she was able to resist the mind control of supermarkets.

Reluctant or not, she was perfectly willing to do the shopping once they'd all put together a list. With a list of other people's needs, she thought it would be a much more straightforward task. By repeating the items on the list, Sam knew she could keep herself focused on completing the task at hand. Constant, uninterrupted repetition allowed her to commit a good two-thirds of the list to memory before she'd even reached the surface. Provided there were no distractions, she was going to complete the mission in record time. She was so sure of her success that she decided she would memorize all of her future shopping lists.

"Carter!"

She mentally shook herself. There was no way General O'Neill was behind her. It was just her subconscious trying to distract her into buying fifteen boxes of paper-sticked cotton swabs. And since she had only recently been cajoled into just that belief when the aforementioned swabs were on sale for only a quarter each, there was certainly no need for her to fall for that particular delusion again so soon. Her feet kept their pace; her eyes returned to the list to find her place; her brain refused to be fooled.

"Carter, wait up!" The clever marketing-induced hallucination jogged to her side, falling in step beside her.

She couldn't ignore him. She'd much rather go grocery shopping than face a court martial, even if the two choices were liable to cause equal amounts of embarrassment and damage to her psyche.

She smiled weakly. "Sir." Her voice lacked a bit of her usual enthusiasm, because as happy as she always was to be around him, and that was very, very happy, the utter truth was a simple and utterly unavoidable fact. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill was the distraction to end all distractions. Even as she looked at him, her lips spread into a wider smile.

The shopping list was completely erased from her mind when he smiled back. "I thought you might want some company."

Having all thoughts besides how incredibly gorgeous he was annihilated from her consciousness, the incredibly gorgeous man's words meant nothing to her. "Company, sir?"

His smile faded slightly when he took in her blank stare. "You don't mind if I tag along, do you?"

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, suddenly remembering that witnesses to her weak-willed purchases were bad and that having Jack be that witness would render her so mortified that she might never return to work, at which point she would have to go grocery shopping and face a court martial, which defeated the purpose of choosing between them. "You don't mind if I ask why, do you, sir?" Because, really, if he was willing to go with her, maybe he was willing to go alone, freeing her from her internal torment.

His jovial demeanor flickered for a moment, convincing Sam that there were definitely ulterior motives underfoot. Perhaps the mind control marketing executives were recruiting generals to help move their products. She half expected a whole-hearted and unbelievably uncomfortable sales pitch for discounted store brand feminine hygiene products. Eventually he shrugged and looked slightly guilty. "It'll be easier to load the cases of beer into my truck."

She nodded. "Which was why you were getting the beer, sir."

He scrunched up his face and groaned, comically giving away that he'd never really expected her to believe his first excuse. He tried again, making a puppy dog face that Sam couldn't have resisted even if she'd wanted to. "I'll drive you."

Not that Sam had qualms with driving, but she had even fewer qualms with going anywhere with Jack. Her list mantra was long gone from her head as she gazed happily at her boss like a lovesick teenager. "No, I don't mind if you come along, sir. I'm curious why you want to. It's just grocery shopping." Although she knew few other people on Earth, or any other planet for that matter, who faced the sort of insurmountable defeat at the market as she did, she didn't think many people enjoyed any chores so much they'd volunteer.

Confidant that she was letting him accompany her, part of the truth slipped out. "There was a little concern among the other quests."

Sam stopped short. Jack had invited half the mountain to the barbeque, but few of them would dare talk about her. Even fewer of them would dare say something negative about her to Jack. And there was something about his odd discomfort that clued her in to the fact that he was one of the three – Daniel and Teal'c being the other two, of course. She was taken aback by her closest friends' lack of faith in her. There was a fleeting, heart-stopping moment when she feared one of them had learned of her secret inability to resist buying useless crap so long as it was on sale.

Jack noticed the abruptness of her stop, but had no idea of the cause since he, in fact, had no idea whatsoever of her shopping proclivities. "Carter?"

Her brow furrowed and she knew she looked cross, but she firmly believed that was infinitely preferable to being embarrassed. "Do you doubt my capabilities now, sir? After everything I've done here, you don't think I can tackle a simple shopping list?" Her words came out angrier than she'd intended which was due entirely to how angry she was at herself. Because the truth was that she obviously couldn't be trusted with such a mundane chore as evidenced by the fact that she had already forgotten the items she'd been entrusted to buy.

Jack looked horrified. His eyes were wide, his mouth hung slack. He didn't even need to speak for Sam to read his apology. "Carter, no, I didn't mean that!" He looked down at his feet, seeming more like a little boy being scolded than a decorated general. Sam feared that she'd said too much, been too angry, and mentally dressed herself down for having spoken to a superior officer like that.

"Carter, it's nothing like that. We were-" His voice trailed off and his eyes darted around like he was looking for an escape.

"Sir, I'm sorry. You don't have to explain. I'm glad to have company, whatever the reason." She wanted to kick herself. The general let pretty much everything go. He was the most laid back CO she'd ever had. It made her feel especially bad when she snapped at him – because she knew he would never use his rank to defend himself and since nothing he said could ever be taken as though from anyone besides a general, that meant he never defended himself from her.

"No, no, Carter, it's just-" His cheeks flushed a bit, making her wonder what he was thinking about. "We were kind of thinking you prefer diet soda and that got us thinking you might like other diet foods and-" He shrugged guiltily, as though in retrospect their line of thought seemed foolish. "We were afraid we'd all wind up with salads and cottage cheese instead of burgers and chips." His head hung low when he finished.

Which just made Sam want to hug him. She understood why he'd blushed too – she remembered clearly the Tok'ra's experiment with the armband which was how they'd found out she preferred diet soda and the mission that followed and the debacle that unfolded following that, which all led decisively to a confession from each of them all those years earlier that still made them blush.

She tried to hide her own blush by ducking her head. "Have you ever seen me turn down red meat?" When Jack grinned, she continued. "I was only going to get a couple diet sodas in case someone wants some."

Jack continued on to the truck, but paused again and glanced at her. "But you still don't mind if I come along, right?"

She suspected there was another reason to thank for his company. And she suspected she knew exactly what that reason was. "Sir, would you like me to accompany you to the liquor store?"

He beamed. "Why, yes, Carter, I would. I'm afraid they'll think I'm an alcoholic if I buy enough beer for these people all by myself." His arm gestured vaguely in the direction of the mountain.

"And it's better if they think we're splitting it?"

"It's better than drinking alone." He didn't elaborate any further and Sam was well aware that he was only making an excuse, that he simply wanted her with him. She wished they had the sort of relationship that would allow them to say such things to one another. They didn't, though, so she climbed in his truck and rode silently beside him with a silly grin on her face.

The liquor store wasn't crowded, as it tended not to be on a weekday afternoon. They got everything that had been requested for the barbeque and enough beer that Sam was relatively sure Jack would have so much left over that he wouldn't have to buy his own beer for the rest of his natural life. The market was another story altogether. In Sam's experience, there always seemed to be an exceptional number of people in the supermarket, regardless of the time or day. It was a phenomenon worthy of study, she felt, because if no one was ever working, they shouldn't have enough money to go shopping.

Jack grabbed a cart as they waded into the throng of people headed into the lion's den. With a silent whimper, Sam followed. Looking at the long lines at each register, Jack frowned. "Do you want to split up to get out of here faster?"

Sam didn't even hear him. There was, directly in front of her, a display of quite possibly the shoddiest lawn furniture she'd ever seen. The set consisted of a plastic, fluorescent orange table, matching chairs, matching striped umbrella, and a chaise lounge, all with faux wood grain. Now if Sam's fair skin wasn't enough of a deterrent to lounging in the sun, the tastelessness of the hard plastic and her utter lack of time should have done the rest. In addition, Sam didn't have a family, didn't like to eat outside, and positively hated orange. Still, Sam found herself marveling at the $99.99 price tag, amazed that so much could be had for under a hundred dollars. It was an incredible bargain.

Holy Hannah, she wanted it.

It was only the sheer size that prevented her from picking it up and putting it in the cart. She knew it was going to be a long trip since most other sale items would be easy for her to lift. She prayed for some benevolent god, spirit, saint, being, or power to spare her from embarrassing herself since she knew there was no other way to avoid it.

"I can see why you're dumbfounded, Carter. That's the most hideous thing I've ever seen. Do you think anybody's dumb enough to actually buy that crap?"

Somehow, Jack's comment, which should have been accidentally insulting to her, made its way through her desperate consumerism and into her brain. She wanted to hide from the ensuing mortification, but she realized the poor man had never even entertained the thought that she might have been one of those dumb enough to have considered the purchase.

Magically, her processing of his comment removed the grocery story's spell. It was hideous and she'd sooner kill herself than buy it. "Yes, sir, it's awful." An idle, disturbing thought happened through her mind – that if she always took Jack shopping with her, she'd never be tricked by a sale ever again. She almost mentioned it, until she remembered that she was trying to keep her addiction to herself.

"So, did you want to split up?"

She didn't really, since once she thought about spending time with Jack she didn't want to give it up. Still, she wasn't sure she could come up with a legitimate reason to say no. She knew, without the aid of the mantra of her shopping list to keep her focused, there would be a horrible fate waiting for her at the end of the excursion. Her hand removed the list from her pocket. "We can tear this in half." She moved slowly to do so; cringing at the thought of explaining to Jack about whatever stupid things she'd wind up buying.

Jack's hands stilled hers. Sam looked up in surprise.

He smiled enigmatically as he took the paper from her. "We only have one list. Sounds like a good reason not to split up, huh?"

Sam tried to hide her happy smile. It thrilled her to know he'd only suggested it because he'd thought he was supposed to and that he was just as eager for an excuse to stay by her side. "Yes, sir. That's very sensible of you." They shared a smile before Jack pushed the cart forward.

They were doing very well, as far as Sam was concerned. She'd taken over cart duty when Jack picked up the paper plates. Then she would read a few items at a time off the list and follow Jack as he retrieved them. This method worked for her in two ways: first, she was mesmerized by watching Jack and trying to figure out how he even managed to make grocery shopping sexy, and second, well, frankly, she got to watch Jack being inadvertently sexy while he did the shopping.

Unfortunately, when she rattled off potato salad and cole slaw, which were located on opposite sides of the same counter, Jack suggested she grab one while he got the other. It wasn't really splitting up since they wouldn't be more than ten feet apart. The suggestion wasn't a bad one, but on the way around the counter, she noticed the end-cap sale display. It was advertising tiny plastic lawn chairs in an assortment of colors. Once again, Sam was flabbergasted by the deal. Although she had no experience with any merchandise of that type, she'd swear that $6.99 was quite a steal. The fact that she knew no children young enough to use the chairs was beyond the point. The rational part of her brain, the one that usually shut down completely in the face of sales, actually spoke up, but only to say that she was going to have to do some fast talking to get the chair in the cart without Jack noticing.

A kid, a small one at that, bumped into Sam's legs. She looked down at the curly brunette head and smiled warmly. The little girl's eyes were wide as she took in the display of pint sized chairs. "Hi there!" It was probably not a good idea to talk to strange little children, but Sam couldn't resist.

The girl looked up at her and said nothing. Almost immediately, she went back to her study of the chairs. She selected a pink one, not caring a bit that it was in the middle of a stack. With three-year-old determination, she yanked at the arm rest. The integrity of the whole stack was threatened. Sam stepped in, unwilling to see the precious girl injured by the impending disaster. She grabbed at the stack, freeing the much desired pink one. The little girl dragged her prize back to her grandmother, or mother, Sam thought, since it had become increasingly difficult to tell with the marvels of modern medical science, without so much as a thank you. Sam turned back to the chairs, realizing sadly that if she ever got around to having children, she would be mistaken for a grandmother herself.

A grin formed as she thought of Jack's gray hair – if she waited a few more years, their age difference wouldn't be so obvious. Not that an age difference between a general and his subordinate, which was really all their relationship seemed it was ever going to be, really mattered. The depressing thought crowded out any desire for a tiny plastic chair. Just as she was about to head back to Jack, she heard the unmistakable sound of utter devastation in the child's voice.

"I want a chair, grammy!"

Grammy's voice was tense and sharp, revealing that the child had made more than one request during the shopping trip. "Absolutely not, Katie. Put it back right this minute."

Something seemed familiar about the voice. Sam couldn't place it. Having no desire to bump into someone from the base while she was acting so domestic with the general as to be grocery shopping together, Sam turned back toward where she'd last seen Jack, forgetting about the potato salad she'd been aiming for in the first place.

She didn't get far before she was slammed in the shin. "Ow!" Glancing down, she spied an unhappy Katie, who in her heartbreak was completely unaware of Sam's existence.

"I can't reach, grammy!" The girl tried lifting her chair onto the stack. Sam was reaching down to help her when Jack's voice sounded over her left shoulder.

"Did you get lost, Carter?"

Sam was distracted both by restacking the plastic chair and by Jack's proximity. By the time she looked up, Katie's grammy was directly in front of her. Although Sam had a much better look at the woman, Sam was no closer than a vague sense of recognition to identifying the strangely familiar woman. She tried to figure it out, taking in the graying hair at the temples and the woman's kind eyes. Sam was still at a loss and started to wonder if maybe she knew the woman's daughter, since despite the familiarity of her face, the woman didn't seem to share the recognition.

Sam looked at Jack, who was placing the cole slaw and potato salad in the cart. "Sorry, sir, I got distracted." She felt low blaming Katie, but she didn't think any harm would come of the white lie.

The woman started to speak a moment later, her words almost lost under Sam's. "Katie, what do you say to-"

It was more the abrupt silence in the middle of her sentence than the actual words that caught Sam's attention. Rather than returning to the silent woman, Sam's eyes sought out Jack's. She was hoping that his face would be blank, at least reassuring her that the woman was in no way associated with the base. Instead, she saw the same perplexed uncertainty reflected there that she knew was on her own. Knowing that they both knew the stranger severely limited the possibilities; neither of them spent much time outside the base in the first place. Sam looked back slowly, trepidation morphing her smile into a grimace.

"Sam?"

Sam nodded once, trying and failing yet again to identify the woman.

"Jack?"

One of the woman's hands rose to cover her open mouth. The other clutched so tightly at her granddaughter's hand that the girl cried out. All color seemed to drain out of her face.

Sam's eyes darted away from the ashen woman to look at Jack once again. He appeared ever more confused as he shrugged back.

"Oh my God! It's you! It's really you!" The woman's shock was replaced by a glee rarely seen by anyone except parents of small children on Christmas morning. She peeked over both of her own shoulders before checking behind Sam and Jack as well. Her voice reduced to a whisper. "It was really true, wasn't it?"

Jack immediately shifted into his military mode. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am."

There was something in her eyes, in the almost star-struck way she looked at the two of them that was even more familiar to Sam than her face and voice. Sam's jaw suddenly went slack as she finally recognized the wide brown eyes.

"Jenny?" Sam's eyes were riveted to Jenny's face, looking for more proof that the fifty-something woman before her was the same as the nineteen-year-old even as the woman nodded. Sam saw Jack's head turn sharply toward hers.

"Carter? Jenny as in-"

Sam nodded. "1969, sir."

Jenny's voice remained a whisper as she leaned forward. "You really are from-" She looked around and apparently decided Big Brother was listening. "Somewhere else, aren't you?"

Sam wanted to be glad to run into a friendly face from years earlier, but she knew something unpleasant would have to come, simply because there was no legitimate way to explain anything to Jenny, who probably wouldn't be convinced to remain silent a second time. She glanced toward Jack and thankfully saw his own reluctance. He'd liked Jenny and Michael too. The only thing Sam well and truly hated about her life was the lying. And there always seemed to be too much of that.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Jack was sticking with that, evidently going with denial rather than more involved lies. Sam was glad he was taking the lead because all she wanted to do was run away.

Jenny's hand fumbled with her hair, which Sam belated notice was styled the same way as Sam had worn a few years earlier – the way Jenny had liked so much in 1969. She was flattered to have made such an impression on the once young girl in their limited time together. It was a double-edged sword, however, since that meant her deference to Jack's denial would hurt Jenny considerably.

"But you guys haven't aged at all!" Jenny motioned at Sam. "I'm older than you even! How? How is that possible?"

Sam swallowed hard, forcing her dry mouth to operate. She really, really hated lying like that, especially with the way Jenny's voice had taken on that soft, sweet tone it had way back when. "Um – I don't know what you're talking about." Her delivery wasn't as smooth as Jack's, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. She was normally very good at keeping up the party line, but the guilt was getting to her. She decided to blame the superpowers of the supermarket.

"Please! You have to tell me! I named my daughter after you, Sam."

Guilt settled heavily on her shoulders and Sam feared she would crack. No one she knew had ever named a baby after her. An odd sensation caused her to peek down at her hand, only to discover the odd sensation was Jack's hand closing around hers. God love the man – he knew how hard it was for her to hear that while she was lying to Jenny's face and he was offering her the only support he could.

He used their joined hands to pull her to the side, trying to lead her away from Jenny and her questions.

Jenny stepped in front of them again. "How is it that neither of you have aged a day in almost forty years?"

Sam wanted to point out that the years most certainly did show on her face, and Jack's as well, but she knew splitting hairs was only going to prove Jenny right. Besides, Sam was rendered mute by Jenny's despair. Jack tried to play it off. "That doesn't sound likely, ma'am. Carter here wasn't even born in '69."

Jenny's eyes narrowed. "How did you know it was 1969? I never said when it was, yet both of you knew the year." The kind eyes were steadfast, revealing a strength and education the young Jenny had lacked.

Sam wanted to hide for having given something away in her shock. She was only slightly mollified by the fact that Jack had done the same thing.

Jack's grasp on her hand tightened slightly. His voice was resigned. "Look, Jenny-"

Jenny interrupted, her adoring gaze returning. "You know, I always believed you guys. Michael wasn't so sure after you left." She leaned in again, her voice dropping even further. "Considering how familiar we were with Mary Jane, I almost thought we'd imagined the whole thing." She stood back and her voice rose to regular whisper. "All of you seemed so strange, everything about you – the way you dressed and spoke to each other, even the way you looked. Are you from a planet where everyone is attractive?"

Stunned by the compliment and conjecture, Sam looked at Jack. His face was burning red. He was so embarrassed that Sam started to giggle. Spurred on by her laughter, Jack cleared his throat and made it clear that he was not going to let anyone else laugh at him. "Look, lady, we don't know you. You don't know us. Any of us who were alive forty years ago have certainly aged. And if you really want to discuss how you've been visited by attractive beings from outer space, you might want to pretend that your relationship with Mary Jane is ongoing."

Jenny's face fell for a moment, hurt by Jack's rampant and vehement denial. But then she started to smile and winked at the pair. "I take it you're still in hiding from the establishment." She reached out, letting go of Katie's hand in favor of grabbing Sam and Jack's joined hands in both of hers. "You're welcome here with our people. Your secret is safe with me and Michael. He'll be so excited to hear that you came back!"

Sam allowed herself a moment of reveling in the knowledge that Michael had survived the draft. By the time she noticed what was happening, Jack had guided her half way back to the truck. The chance meeting had thrown her, so much that she didn't even think to comment on it.

"What about the supplies for the barbeque?"

Jack stared at her for a moment like she'd grown a second head. Then he started to grin. "You and I are going to start one of those cases of beer and when we're good and drunk, we'll call Daniel and read him the list."

The idea of getting drunk with Jack appealed to her on every level. Except the one that pointed out he was her CO and she'd be a disappointment to herself if she broke the rules, the rules which she absolutely knew she would break if she got good and drunk with Jack. It caused a flurry of activity in her brain, which promptly returned to Jenny.

"You were a little hard on her, weren't you, sir?"

"Did you want to stay there and talk to her? Invite her to the barbeque so she could catch up with Daniel and Teal'c?"

"Honestly?" She hadn't thought about inviting Jenny to the barbeque, but talking to her would have been nice.

Jack held up his hand to stop her. "I take that back. Do you think it would have been a good idea?"

A coy smile appeared on her face. "Do you think it would be a good idea for us to get drunk together?"

Jack squeezed the hand Sam had forgotten he was still holding. "I think it might be the best idea we've ever had."


End file.
